Gone Away
by Musik34
Summary: What would happen if he went away? Angst. Warning inside. Very mild language.


**A:N//** Hey everyone! Only warning is, don't flip out yet. Feedback sustains the writing monster. Lyrics by the Offspring. I don't own material from Fox or Offspring, I just borrow them.

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Gone Away

Temperance felt numb, staring at the black casket. Her eyes were vacant, her skin pale. Angela stood beside her, tears flowing freely. The chill of that November morning bit through all at that funeral, but it couldn't have matched with the cold in Brennan's heart. She turned her head slowly and forced herself to look at the people around her. Zach and Hodgins had shown. Her young assistant was fighting tears, and their resident bug guy appeared haggard, almost shocked. Camille had come also. Her face was stone, but her lower lip quivered and she kneaded her hands. Looking across the coffin, Brennan saw some faces she knew, and others she didn't. They had to have been family, a now grieving and sobbing family. Brennan saw Rebecca …her eyes meant Brennan's and Brennan could have sworn she saw contempt masked as grief. Brennan wouldn't blame the woman; she had caused Parker's father to 'go away'…and never come back.

_Maybe in another life,  
I could find you there.  
Pulled away before your time,  
I can't deal; it's so unfair…_

She had heard whispers later, how people stared at her wondering why he had died and not her. He saved her life, and she didn't even shed tears at the funeral. And weeks passed. And she still didn't cry. Holding her grief in, not wanting to face the past or present. Every time she saw his grinning face in her dreams, her heart shattered. He was gone, but his presence still lingered, and it drove her deeper into silence. Her friend had been ripped away from her, before his time. She was alone.

_And it feels, and it feels like,  
Heaven's so far away.  
And it feels, yeah it feels like,  
The world has grown cold,  
Now that you've gone away…_

She wanted to believe that Booth was in Heaven. She wished so hard, and even prayed that there was one. Because if there wasn't, everything that he had fought for in this world meant nothing. And that when you died, all you did was decompose and provide additional worm food. She had vomited at this thought and almost cried. There had to have been a Heaven.

The world had grown cold and dead. Christmas came a month and a half later, and there was no Booth. His charm smile wasn't there. His brown eyes that seemed to reach into her soul were gone. Only memories remained, and some were fading. Yes, the world for Brennan had turned cold.

_Leaving flowers on your grave,  
To show that I still care.  
But black roses and Hail Mary's,  
Can't bring back what's taken from me..._

She finally visited his grave, the next morning. With a sick irony, she remembered how it was Booth that convinced her to go to her mother's tombstone, to get answers. Staring at the carved lettering on the stone and how her roses lied gently on the snow hit her hard. Booth had gone away, and he wasn't coming back.

And she finally cried.

_I reach to the sky,  
And call out your name.  
And if I could trade,  
I would…_

"Booth, I'm so sorry," she whispered through sobbing breaths. Why did he have to step in front of those bullets? Why was he taken from her? She looked to the sky, wishing that she were dead instead of him. Because now she knew, that Booth hadn't been just a great partner or caring friend…she had loved him.

_And it feels, and it feels like,  
Heaven's so far away.  
And it stings, yeah it stings now,  
The world is so cold,  
Now that you've gone away…_

_Gone away, gone away..._

Heaven felt very far away. The cold world she had come to known felt very close.

_I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
Oh please let me trade  
I would_

She fell asleep at the grave, still crying. She dreamt of him, always of him. How he had saved her, and not just from the bad guys. How he made her laugh. How his strong arms wrapped around her comforting her when she needed it. Oh, god, how she missed him.

_And it feels, and it feels like,  
Heaven's so far away.  
And it feels, yeah it feels like,  
The world has grown cold.  
Now that you've gone away,  
Gone away, gone away..._

Brennan snapped awake when she heard someone groan. Her neck was stiff from sleeping in the hospital chair. Realizing that she had been dreaming, she quickly checked her face to see if she had been crying. Though no tears showed in the mirror, her eyes were red and puffy.

She heard a muttered curse and whipped her head to the source.

"They're releasing you?" Brennan accused angrily.

Seeley Booth faced her and evenly said, "It's not like I'm dying, Bones. I'm just going to be sore a couple of days, that's all."

And Brennan saw Booth's bare chest as he struggled to get his arms into the shirt. His entire front was covered in a purplish hue, and four very distinctive circles with an almost black color to them screamed at her.

Memories of that day rushed her.

"_Bones! I said stay there!"—BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!_

Booth had fallen backwards as their suspect fired the gun. All four bullets fired hit Booth in his chest. Brennan had screamed, thinking that he was dead. She had forgotten that he had been wearing a Kevlar vest. It stopped him from dying, but it didn't protect the hurt from the impact.

It was her fault that this had happened. He told her to hang back. Her stubborn ways got him shot.

Booth involuntarily winced as he tried unsuccessfully to get his shirt on. It was one of those ones that opened in the front. If he could barely get that on, he knew the next few days were going to be hell.

Brennan stood from her chair and helped him get it over his shoulders. She looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. "You could've have woken me up," she whispered.

Booth didn't say anything and sighed.

Brennan finally looked at him and his heart broke. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Booth gave her a small smile and said, "It's okay, really. You broke the bastard's arm afterwards. That's all I needed."

She knew he was trying to make her feel better. She shook her head and said, "It's all my fault; you could have died…"

Booth placed his hands on her shoulders. He would have hugged her if he could, but this would do for now. "But I'm not dead. See? I'm right here. Yeah, you made a mistake today, but everybody does. I'm not going away."

Brennan finally gave him a watery smile, and whispered, "Not anytime soon."

"No, not for a long time."


End file.
